Marie's Web Log

Happy Halloween. I took Amelia out tonight around a few neighbours' houses. We went early and not everyone 'does' Halloween here, but I don't think she needs a whole load of candy anyway. She wore the Tinkerbell costume Ian's sister gave her last Christmas - a little flouncy dress thing with detachable wings. I was surprised she put it on - she's usually not keen on dressing up. Maybe it was the promise of sweets.

Because we are in a row of only three houses, outside the main part of the estate, we don't usually get many kids coming around. Last year we had the neighbour's boy and a friend. That was it. (By contrast, in Mississauga we used to get over 200.) At the houses I took Amelia to, I mentioned that we would be giving out candy, so this year we had about 20 kids. Quite nice, actually - 200 is a bit much. And people give out better quality candy here, because they don't have to give out so much.

The costumes aren't so imaginative though - most people stick to the devil/witch/skeleton thing. They don't seem to realise you can branch out a bit. And the funny thing is, they do sometimes put up decorations, but they put them inside. I remember walking around our neighbourhood in Mississauga in the days before Halloween and seeing those huge orange garbage bags with pumpkin faces on, filled with leaves, and the ones that looked like people slumped in chairs on front steps, and the ghosts hanging in trees, and cobwebs, and fake tombstones. It got a bit ridiculous really, and I used to say I didn't like it, but I walked around our neighbourhood this afternoon and apart from a few pumpkins timidly peeping over windowsills, there was nothing. Nothing at all. And I kind of missed all the crap.

The weather has been very mild - nearly 20 C yesterday, though cooler today. Most of the trees still have their leaves. Autumn - summer even - has been very drawn out.

Amelia's tantrums continue, though she hasn't had one today. They are getting shorter, which I guess is a good sign. When she has them during the day, we put her on the top step (the 'quiet step') until she calms down. The ones during the night are harder to deal with.

All for now.

Posted by marie at 11:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

OK, so not much reaction to my hair. But thanks, Kenda, for your comments. I think the last time I had my hair this short was about eight or nine years ago, right around the time that I met you. A few people have said to me that short hair must be 'easier'. It's not. Not with my hair, anyway. In many ways it's harder, because I can't just put it up if I'm having a bad hair day.

You may be wondering what the title of today's post refers to. Well, it's not back to the future, really, it's back to the past - about 18 months ago, when Amelia was having tantrums on a daily basis. I think I mentioned that she's started having them again. Not quite daily, but almost. It began about two weeks ago, when we went to Bath where I did the one-day writing course. She had a tantrum in the car with Ian and refused to get out for three hours. This past Tuesday night, we were in Bournemouth with Ian and she woke up five or six times (!) during the night, screaming and shouting and kicking. Which is pretty awful when you're trapped with her in the bedroom of a B&B. The other morning when Ian took her to nursery, she had a screaming fit from the car all the way down to the nursery building.

What has triggered it? I don't know. I was doing some research on the Internet and one site said, "Sometimes tantrums return around the age of four." Great. It could be that the change in routine - Ian going to Bournemouth two days a week - has upset her. She's going through a bit of a negative stage anyway. She could be testing her boundaries. Last night she woke up at 3 a.m. and screamed for half an hour. The advice you're always given is to ignore tantrums so as not to reinforce the behaviour, but it's pretty hard to do under those circumstances. I have to admit, I was in tears. Sometimes being a parent really sucks.

Apart from the screaming episode, Bournemouth was nice. A bit quiet in the off season. I'll write more about it next time.

Posted by marie at 08:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I know you didn't ask for one, but here's another view. (See below and previous post.)

Did I tell you that a few weeks ago Amelia suddenly began to draw things that are recognizable as people? Before that her drawings looked mostly abstract - more than scribbles, but not resembling anything real. Then one day she drew a circle with eyes, ears, nose, mouth and hair. Now she puts on legs and arms, hands and feet - even shoulders. (They look like shoulder pads.) If I'd thought about it, I would have taken some photos of them with the webcam too. Maybe I'll do it later.

She also now puts her shoes on the right feet every time. Up until recently, she put them on the wrong feet more than half the time, which I didn't think was statistically possible.

Here's another snap for you, of Amelia and Ian with some of his 'harvest'.

Posted by marie at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here's a webcam snap of me with my new hair. (Sorry about the lighting.)

Posted by marie at 03:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So pressed for time lately. Am I getting old? Wo lao le (just slipping in a little Chinese practice). A selection of things from the past week:

Sunday: morning: held the Mandarin playgroup at our place for the second week in a row; afternoon: took Amelia to Abi's birthday party.

Monday: Ian went to Bournemouth overnight (where he is starting his PhD), so I took Amelia to and from nursery on the bus, which takes 1.5 hours each time, double the usual time. In between, tried to get caught up on business stuff, like doing taxes.

Tuesday: With Amelia all day. Abi came over to play in the afternoon.

Wednesday: With Amelia again. Took her with us to visit a school. We have to apply in November for a place for her for next year. The school was a Church of England school. (Don't even get me started on the way they mix church and the school system over here. It's ridiculous. I know there are Catholic schools in Canada, but it's not the same. Church of England schools are considered almost the default school here, and every school (even non-religious ones) has to teach religious education.) Very nice, new building, but the person showing us around (the deputy headmistress) had the slick patter of a salesperson, and the children were all eerily quiet. The Stepford children.

Thursday: Went to see another school (without Amelia this time). Non-church school. Nice headmistress (what a quaint title - usually they are just referred to as 'heads') - perhaps I was charmed by her Scottish accent. Sat with us for over an hour, and the conversation focussed much more on the children, which is as it should be. Lots of great facilities too, like a kitchen with tiny counters at child-height, and a music room for which they've just ordered a (what is the collective noun here?) bunch of ukeleles -apparently they borrowed some last year and the children loved them. Much more genuine-seeming environment, lots of happy enthusiasm and the staff seemed cheerful - which can be unusual. Also, all the classes we saw had several non-white children in them - very unusal for Exeter. If we are still here next year, we will probably send her there. Evening: Chinese lesson.

Friday: morning: went to Honeylands Children's Centre for the report on Amelia's four-week assessment. It's been a really comprehensive process and at least we feel we've done all we can to look into what her issues might be. The upshot was that she does have some sensory difficulties, which we knew, but she is not on the autistic spectrum, which is definitely a good thing. Their view is that her lack of social participation comes from a lack of confidence, especially physical confidence, as she still has some problems with certain gross motor activities. There were a few other outcomes, including the results of the IQ test, which I'll tell you about another time. Afternoon: went to get my hair cut. Shorter than I've had it for quite a few years. If only I had a digital camera to take a photo...

Saturday: We all drove up to Bath, about 1.5 hours from here. I had booked to go on a writing course: writing short stories for women's magazines. Ian wanted to take Amelia for a day out, but although the morning went well, she fell asleep for an hour after lunch, and then woke up in a foul mood, had a tantrum and refused to get out of the car for 3 hours. She's going through quite a negative stage at the moment, everything is "No!" and "My don't want to!"

Today: Celebrated Chinese autumn moon festival (very like Canadian Thanksgiving). The actual date was Friday. Had organised with a friend a party for our local international adoption group (SWAN), and had to go up at 10 to the rented space to decorate and set up. Was a great event, everyone brought delicious food and all pitched in and helped so that the whole thing went off really well. Except that I got a parking ticket because I left the car in one place too long. £50. Ouch!

Plus: worked all week on the SWAN newsletter, and e-mailed it out on Friday night. And, tried to deal with two work enquiries, plus setting up a meeting of the local editors' association.

Signing off...

Posted by marie at 09:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)